Middle Earth's Top 40
by Estel
Summary: Modern, well-known songs, tolkien style!! NEW CHAPTER! umm...this one is slightly more than PG...
1. Elves Just Wanna have fun

Elves just wanna have fun  
  
AN- this has been revised and reformatted (I hope). I dunno what the hell happened with FF.N, but double-back up your work! Also, the flame from a "Mr. Poop", who sounds suspiciously like Aaron Morris *shudder*, was completely uncalled for. Just because the formatting is screwed up doesn't mean you have to be so rude!!  
  
I come home in the sindarin light  
  
My mother says when you gonna live your life right  
  
Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones  
  
And elves they want to have fun  
  
Oh elves just wanna have fun  
  
stupid rings in the middle-earth night  
  
Elrond yells what you gonna do with your life  
  
Oh Mr. Elf you know you're still number one  
  
But elves they wanna have fun  
  
Oh elves just wanna have  
  
That's all they really want  
  
Some fun  
  
When the questing day is done  
  
Elves- they want to have fun  
  
Oh elves just want to have fun  
  
Some boys take a beautiful elf  
  
And hide them away from the rest of the world  
  
I wanna be the one to sail the sea  
  
Oh elves they want to have fun  
  
Oh elves just want to have  
  
That's all they really want  
  
Some fun  
  
When the questing day is done  
  
Elves-they want to have fun  
  
Oh elves just want to have fun 


	2. Will the Real Frodo Baggins Please Stand...

Will the Real Frodo Baggins Please Stand Up  
  
AN: okay, this, in my humble opinion, is nowhere near as good as Elves Just Wanna Have Fun. Of course, that didn't have 3 pages of lyrics, either.  
  
~*~  
  
May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,  
  
will the real Frodo Baggins please stand up, I repeat will the real  
  
Frodo Baggins please stand up.....we're gonna have a problem  
  
here.........  
  
Ya'll act like you never seen a halfling before  
  
jaws all on the floor  
  
like merry and pippin just burst in the door  
  
and started pullin' pranks worse than before  
  
they first were aware  
  
throwing caution to the wind (aaaaaah)  
  
It's the return of the king...  
  
"awww...wait, no wait, you're kidding,  
  
he isn't who I think he is,  
  
is he?"  
  
and gollum said...  
  
nothing you idiots, that idiot's dead  
  
he fell in the chasm  
  
feminist hobbits love the ring-bearer  
  
chicka chicka chicka Mr. Frodo,  
  
"I'm sick of him, lookit him  
  
walkin around, destroying the you-know-what  
  
conquering you-know-who"  
  
"yeah, but he's so cute and furry though"  
  
yeah, I probably got a couple of fingers on my hand off  
  
but no worse than what's goin on in Rivendell  
  
sometimes, I wanna go the "The Pony" and just let loose  
  
but cant, but it's cool for Sam Gamgee to take off for a snooze  
  
The Ring is on my hand, The Ring is on my hand  
  
and if I'm unlucky, things just might go amiss  
  
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids  
  
and expect them to know what second breakfast is  
  
of course they're gonna know what second breakfast is  
  
by the time they hit Rivendell  
  
they got Merry and Pip, dont they?  
  
we ain't nothing but hobbits  
  
well, some of us are humans, here!  
  
who cut ringwraiths open like cantelopes  
  
but if we can take care of those pesky stupid wraiths  
  
then there's no reason that a dwarf and another elf can't both go  
  
but if you feel like I feel, I got the antedote  
  
Elrond, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes...  
  
  
  
I'm Frodo Baggins, yes, I'm the real Baggins  
  
all you other Frodo Bagginses are just imitating  
  
so wont the real Frodo Baggins please stand up, please stand up,  
  
please stand up  
  
cause I'm Frodo Baggins, yes, I'm the real Baggins  
  
all you other Frodo Bagginses are just imitating  
  
so wont the real Frodo Baggins please stand up, please stand up,  
  
please stand up  
  
  
  
Legolas don't got to carry an evil ring to make the chicks ga-ga  
  
well I do, he comes and strider comes too  
  
you think I give a damn about a morgul-wound?!  
  
half of you people can't even see me, let alone let me go  
  
"but Fro, what if you did, wouldn't it be weird?"  
  
why? just so you guys can help to get me there  
  
so you can sit me here next to Gandalf and Bilbo  
  
dang, Gimli better switch me chairs  
  
so I can sit next to the elves and the dwarflings  
  
and hear em argue over who should take care of evil rings  
  
little people, put me in the quest team  
  
"dang, Sam's cute, but I think he's married to Rosie, hee hee"  
  
I should get him to ask her to dance  
  
and show the world how I destroyed the ring of power  
  
I'm sick of you little lad and lass hobbits  
  
all you do is annoy me  
  
so I come here to get away from you  
  
and there's a few of us just like me  
  
who are as short like me, who go on quests like me  
  
who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me  
  
and just might be the next best thing, but not quite me...  
  
  
  
I'm Frodo Baggins, yes, I'm the real Baggins  
  
all you other Frodo Bagginses are just imitating  
  
so wont the real Frodo Baggins please stand up, please stand up,  
  
please stand up  
  
cause I'm Frodo Baggins, yes, I'm the real Baggins  
  
all you other Frodo Bagginses are just imitating  
  
so wont the real Frodo Baggins please stand up, please stand up,  
  
please stand up  
  
I'm like the elf guy to listen to  
  
cause I'm bringin' you rings  
  
you can't talk about with your friends inside your hobbit-hole  
  
the only difference is I got the nerve to say it  
  
in front of ya'll and I aint gotta be quiet or hushed about it at all  
  
I just get outta my chair and say it  
  
and whether you like to admit it  
  
I carry the Ring better than 90% of you people at the council can  
  
then you wonder how can  
  
kids love the Red Book like Gandalf's fireworks  
  
it's funny,cause at the rate I'm going when I'm fifty  
  
I'll be the only person in the council willing  
  
Takin' the Ring when the Elves and Dwarves are fighting  
  
and I'm trying but this little hobbit voice isn't working  
  
in every single person there's a Frodo Baggins lurkin  
  
he could be sittin' in the corner, listenin' to talk about rings  
  
or behind the pillars, hearing, screamin I really wanna come  
  
with his guard down and his stupidity up  
  
so will the real baggins please stand up  
  
and put each little hand up  
  
and be proud to be the Ring-Bearer, takin' the Ring  
  
and 1 more time, loud as you can, C'mon and SING!  
  
  
  
I'm Frodo Baggins, yes, I'm the real Baggins  
  
all you other Frodo Bagginses are just imitating  
  
so wont the real Frodo Baggins please stand up, please stand up,  
  
please stand up  
  
cause I'm Frodo Baggins, yes, I'm the real Baggins  
  
all you other Frodo Bagginses are just imitating  
  
so wont the real Frodo Baggins please stand up, please stand up,  
  
please stand up 


	3. Gondorian Man

Gondorian Man (Originally "Missionary Man" by the Eurythmics)  
  
Dedicated to morchaint and bosquito mosquito, who got me thinking about updating  
  
Well I was born an original leader. I was borne from Gondorian blood. And if I had a silver penny For all the wars I've fought There'd be a mountain of money Piled up to my chin...  
  
The Steward told me good The Steward told me strong. He said "be true to Gondor And you can't go wrong." "But there's just one thing That you must understand." "You can fool with your brother - But don't mess with a Gondorian man."  
  
Don't mess with a Gondorian man. Don't mess with a Gondorian man.  
  
Well the Gondorian man He's got Isildur in his blood. He's got the Wars and Battles Backin' up from behind. Black eyed looks from those Old-time books. He's a man with a mission Got a serious mind. He and an elf from Rivendell Saved Our asses in the Mines. The Gondorian man he was followin' me. He said "stop what you're doing." "Get out your sword." "I've a message for you that you can't not afford."  
  
Don't mess with a Gondorian man. Don't mess with a Gondorian man. 


	4. Frodo Baggins

Frodo Baggins (To the tune of "Rocky Raccoon" by the Beatles)  
  
Now somewhere in the rolling mountain hills of the Shire  
  
There lived a young boy named Frodo Baggins  
  
And one day his uncle ran off to another town  
  
Left young Frodo the Ring and Frodo didn't like that  
  
He said I'm gonna get that guy  
  
So one day he walked into Bree  
  
Booked himself a room in the Pancing Pony. Frodo Baggins checked into the Inn  
  
Only to find Gandalf Absent  
  
Frodo had come equipped with the Ring  
  
To destroy and be rid of the rival  
  
His uncle it seems had broken his dreams  
  
By leaving this mission to him.  
  
His name was Bilbo and he called himself umm. "Myself"  
  
But everyone knew him as Baggins.  
  
Now he and the wiz who called himself Gandalf  
  
Were in the next town, called Imladris.  
  
Frodo burst in and grinning a grin  
  
He said Buddy Boy this is a showdown  
  
But the Nazgul were hot-they drew first and shot  
  
And Frodo collapsed at Amon Hen. Now Gandalf came in stinking of gin  
  
And proceeded to lie to young Frodo.  
  
He said Frodo we met our match  
  
And Frodo said, hey- it's only a Ring!  
  
And I'll destroy it as soon as I am able. Now Frodo Baggins he fell back in his room  
  
Only to find the Ring.  
  
Elrond checked it out and he left it no doubt  
  
To help with good Frodo's Quest. 


	5. Hotel In Imladris

Hotel In Imladris  
  
(Frodo)  
  
On a dark, scary mission, with Sam at my side  
  
Along with Merry and Pippin, just along for the ride  
  
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a glowering wraith  
  
Stabbed my shoulder, tried to take the Ring  
  
It diminished my faith There she stood in the forest;  
  
I heard Arwen yell  
  
And I was thinking to myself,  
  
'She could be Human or she could be Elf'  
  
Then she got on the white horse and she took me away  
  
There were screeches from the riders in black,  
  
I thought I heard them say... (Nazgul)  
  
Welcome to the Hotel In Imladris  
  
Such a lovely place  
  
Such a lovely face  
  
Plenty of elves at the Hotel In Imladris  
  
Any time of year, you can find them here  
  
(Frodo) His name is Lord Elrond- Half-elf, he got the immortality  
  
He got a lot of burly, sweaty men, that he calls friends  
  
How they sing in the fire-room, sweet summer songs.  
  
Some sing to remember, some just play along (Elrond) So I called up the Hobbit,  
  
'Please present the Ring'  
  
He said, 'We haven't had that spirit here since Isildur was the king.'  
  
And still those ringwraiths are calling from far away,  
  
Wake you up in the middle of the night  
  
Just to hear them say...  
  
(Nazgul) Welcome to the Hotel In Imladris  
  
Such a lovely place  
  
Such a lovely face  
  
Council on the Ring at the Hotel In Imladris  
  
What a nice surprise, people of all size!  
  
(Frodo) Sam sits in the corner,  
  
Merry and Pippin playing dice.  
  
And they said 'We are all just pensioners here, of Elrond's device'  
  
And in the hall of fire,  
  
They gathered for the feast  
  
They stab it with their butter knives,  
  
But they just can't kill the beast Last thing I remember, I was  
  
Running for the door  
  
I had to find the passage east  
  
To the place I dread- Mordor  
  
'Relax,' said the Legolas,  
  
We are programmed to retrieve.  
  
You can't checkout any time you like,  
  
and you can never leave! 


End file.
